by Carlene Jones
As I introduce my new obese clients to my fast weight loss methods based on eating real whole food, they panic. I was the same way. At 256 lbs, depressed to the point that I was worried for my safety I made an appointment with a naturopath. I told her my concerns for my health, my history of obesity and a lifetime of dieting. She wasn’t much help, but allowed me the blood tests to prove my thoughts on what was wrong with me. The following year after I had lost 136 pounds with a raw foods diet, I returned for my final blood work. It was then that she shared with me the note she made on our first visit: “Patient views food as poison.”
She was right. After helping so many other obese women, I have realized I was not alone. For many of us food is our greatest nemesis. We love it, but hate it. Actually, we fear it more. Even as a child I never ate any food, including good foods like apples, without guilt or fear of being judged. Many of my clients say the same thing, yet the number one reason the obese quit diets is that they just want to eat like a normal person.
One of the biggest concerns for the obese in our relationship with food is that we have no idea how to eat “normal.” We are great on diets, but outside that structure, all we seem to know is how to overeat. It is that overeating that makes us obese and ill, so in our minds even though we love food and go to it for comfort and joy we know that it is killing us.
The obese have no clue how to eat like a regular person or even how much food we can eat to maintain our weight. When I tell new clients they are going to start their program on a 1800 calorie diet they want to turn and run. All we seem to know is starvation and deprivation as methods to lose weight. The thought of eating that much food and not be in overeating mode seems unrealistic. It takes me a good two weeks to convince them that 1800 calories is still slightly in weight loss mode for most.
That first week almost everyone of my clients feel lost. They try to eat, but when I go over their food lists with them it is obvious they are living on typical diet foods and quantities, and most don’t get even close to the 1800 calories. I always say, obese men and women are experts in starving. Where we have no experience is in eating to maintain our weight. By the second week I have them eating better whole foods, but still with apprehension. It isn’t until the third or even fourth week before they start to trust the process and open their minds to how great it can be to eat foods that taste good and satisfy their daily appetites as well.
No one person is like the next, so no one diet is perfect for everyone. Each person must find the foods that appeal to them without causing them to overeat. Eating foods that are meant for dieters doesn’t work for the obese, but it is all we know. Knowing when and how much to eat is not something left to the diet gurus to tell us, but for us to determine based on what works best for us. This is the only way to lose the weight and maintain it for life. Yet few have the courage to believe it.
That fear of eating that has been hammered into us all these years has to be tackled. The only way to do that is to eat. Sounds simple enough, but in my experience I have found it is harder to get people to eat then it is to get them to diet. Why? Because all we know is deprivation or guilt.
My new obese clients are always tentative eaters. They tend to eat foods from their dieting backgrounds and always in small amounts. When I ask them what appealed to them in these foods, they squirm and even try to convince me they actually like all that diet food. When I stand firm that diet food is not on our program they are lost to figure out what they should eat. Some even swear they cannot live without their liquid diet foods and insist on including them in their new programs. I just shake my head. Drinking calories and calling it nutrition was a bad idea, people need to eat, and they need to learn to eat healthy satisfying foods in quantities their body and psyche can handle.
It takes time and effort to move into a healthy diet, one that is satisfying and can last a lifetime, but it is worth it. Anyone can be successful if they open their mind and fight the fear and guilt associated with eating. Once I convince them that they can eat real food to maintain their weight with real food, shedding the pounds is easy.
Making the decision to not let food, or the fear of it control you is freeing. No longer will you give in to cravings because you believe the food is stronger than you. Food will become what it is meant to be: nutrition and fuel. It is when that happens that the obese can step away from their fat suit for life.
About the Author:
Carlene Jones helps the
obese lose weight fast on a food and exercise based diet program. Last year her clients lost over 2000 lbs. Her workbook
Fat Brain Lies helps the obese face the reality of their obesity and their relationship to food.